Eight Liners: Selected Poems 2014-2021

 

You’re Not Perfect

You’re not perfect and I couldn’t like you better that way

Perfect people are horrible and they might even know it

You just come out and say what you want and are assertive

And adventurous, so don’t criticize yourself for not being perfect

Like some other people seem to be perfect because they may not be

Either because they have their problems of their own which you should

Not worry about because it’s not your business so why don’t do just go

Back to doing what you do best which is being yourself and don’t worry

About how anyone else is doing because you only have one life to live

And you might as well live it being yourself and not worrying about criticism.

The Lost Simons

I wonder whatever happened to the lost Simons

Or the lost Salmans or the lost Berlins

The ones who sprung from Dov-Ber’s secret affair

And got lost from us somewhere in New York

With Henry, the only knowledgeable one

Just like the exact method in which he escaped Auschwitz

Or if it even was Auschwitz or another camp

Did his small stature help him jump off the train unnoticed?

And what of the other son Dov-Ber allegedly killed in a drunken rage?

A vague vignette with details lost with the lost Simons

They could be Paul Simon, Neil Simon, Sam Simon, even Bill Simon

The ones who sprung from Dov-Ber’s secret affair

And may remain lost from us forever.

 

 

All the Good Songs

All the good songs by all your favorite artists

That you’ve listened to hundreds of times

And all the 3 Musketeers bars

And all the Dr. Pepper shakes

And all the fizzy lifting drinks

And all the band shirts

And all the green shirts

And all the budget CDs

And all the Richard Brautigan poems

And all the Ralph Bakshi movies

And all the Simpsons episodes

And all the SpongeBob episodes

And all the South Park episodes

And all the Family Guy episodes

And all the Beavis and Butt-head episodes

And all the CBD oils

And all the YTMNDs

And all the fortune cookie fortunes

And all the crossword puzzles

And all the parody songs in your head

Are not enough to make your supervisor give you a second chance at your job.

Time to start searching for a new one.

 

Thanksgiving Eve

It’s the night before Thanksgiving and I’m walking back from work to my apartment

Catch a whiff of some weed on Chorro Street (the house with the huge Mila Kunis poster) and I’m suddenly inspired for some strange reason

Especially strange as 2017 has been pretty much a no-show for my creative work

Blame it on working all year for once and paying my rent and bills but I’ve had plenty of free time as well

And I’ve blown it mostly on the same old media I’ve consumed every other year

Lebowski, Pulp Fiction, Zappa, Sublime, Green Day, Beatles, Nirvana, Weird Al, Monkey Island, Simpsons, Family Guy, Nicktoons, Beavis and blah blah blah

It’s crazy how my desire for creativity got me stuck in a rut

My ADD gave itself to my OCD

I got trapped in these tight wad boxes

Poems had to be 8 lines, stories had to feature Walter Jid, Johnny Lurg, or some other icon of my own nostalgia

No wonder I’ve had writer’s block

Wrote 2,000 words for NaNoWriMo and called it quits

So little poetry or prose to speak of

A decade ago I told myself I’d be “’07 laureate” but all I lacked is effort…seems about right

But let’s try positivity for once

Mindfulness, got to make my therapist proud

I didn’t read all of that Jon Kabat-Zinn for nothing

Whenever a negative thought arises, replace it with a positive one

Or let my breathing take a hold

Breathing, footsteps, music, whatever can replace it

Enough with these intrusive thoughts

You can do better than thoughts like that, I believe in you.

 

I’m Waiting for You, Fry

I’m waiting for you, Fry

Like the lost dog I am

Abandoned and betrayed

After all these years

 

I’m waiting for you, Fry

Though I forgot your scent

Everything else still lingers

In the cyclone of my mind

 

I’m waiting for you, Fry

Though you’re never coming back

Though you dropped so many  hints

Like “I can’t do this anymore”

 

I’m waiting for you, Fry

Because “get over it”

And “let it go” and “move on”

Are words I cannot comprehend

 

I’m waiting for you, Fry

Because once upon a time

You said “I’ll always be there”

And I know you’d never lie

 

I’m waiting for you, Fry

As you shelter other dogs

As one millennium passes

Sincerely yours, Seymour Asses

 

Keep the Weird Mind Flying

So what is the guy who makes the moon rise

So happiness keeps the man in motion with what it takes

Man on a stick with a pullet in the sky that makes it fun

Losing what’s best gives the dark rising a potion in the air

So why is the legend of the avian son so fertile when it’s raw

I don’t know why the road forks the way it must at times

And why it causes a bird to fly into the wild mountains I haven’t a clue

I just keep the weird mind flying into the distant horizon alone.

 

Language Barrier

She is so incredible

Her life is unbelievable

But we cannot understand a word the other says

We’ll be together every week and then

We’ll use Google Translate again

Every time we hear a single word the other says

 

This language barrier infuriates

As much as my laziness to learn

We could be one but Babel makes us two

So will I always find myself behind again

As I fail to make it work again

This language barrier makes me impotent

While I only achieve impatience.

 

 

Doing It For Her

Even though we only meet other week

I find my lost pulse in her

Every conversation brings me back to life

I become the man I used to be

The man people love and miss

With bounce in his step and a smile on his face

And when she leaves me, I start to die again

Wither into nothingness, feel less than a life

Still I do it for her when she’s gone

Because I know she wants me to carry on.

 

 

 

Sandwich Artist

I see you at the counter

Your pink hair in a bun

Blue and pink studs in your ears

Tattoos of Link and Totoro on your arms

I order a footlong cold cut combo

I say that’s what I’d like

But I can’t say what I really want

Because I already know your answer.

 

 

 

Poem for Scott Weiland

Scott Weiland died last week, this you should know

He piloted big empty flies from the vasoline into a plush garden

Of interstellar crackermen and unglued sex type creeps

Teaching them what’s dead and bloated and what’s not for sale

Days of dancing and music seemed not so tiny then

But perhaps we must look down and between the lines

As we witness the sour truth that he’s half the man he used to be

He’s off to the stone temple in the core of the purple sky.

 

 

 

I Will Not Cease to Exist

I will not cease to exist

Just because you can’t understand my intentions

Or you think I’m too intense or real for you

You can send your thought police to my door

And have them try to seize my poems from my brain

And my freedom of expression from my lips

But it will all be in vain

Most of the time I keep to myself

I don’t bother anyone

I just want my peace of mind

And my freedom of existence.

 

 

 

The Old Man

There is an old man in my head who keeps me from writing poetry because he doesn’t understand it

He reads a couple lines and throws it away, cursing me in a drunken rage

I spend every day trying to avoid him as I go to work and sort through books and come home

There is a young girl with him in my head and they spread rumors about me, many of them false

Which keep the rest of the village from accepting me as one of them like they once almost did

Then I try to apologize to the man for the things that I did which made him so unruly

But he just stares at me with no heart in his eyes before abruptly slipping back into his cave

He invites people of all ages into that cave but he’ll never invite me back, not after what I did

No matter how much I pray and repent and volunteer so that I’ll gain positive karma

The old man will always be stuck in my head, driving people away from my body.

 

 

 

Lost Chums

I was so stuck in my negativity that I did not acknowledge their unconditional love

With their kind if occasionally misguided advice backfiring in their faces

I watched them all give up and disappear from my life

So frustrated at me that when I asked them to forgive me

My words of atonement flew off and vanished into a starless night.

 

 

 

Little Devil

I sold my soul to a Little Devil, a blessing in disguise

I refused to read the warning that was right before my eyes

As I bounced around the room in joy, I forgot my chronic woes

I need to summon her every time I want to write my prose

Her locks are long and snakelike, curling around my mind

How long will it take until I can no longer look behind?

Help me, Little Angel, take my pain away

From the Little Devil who has only caused dismay.

 

 

 

Mila

Mila, why can’t you see our Semitic roots entwine

I can only guess you have other Semitic loves than mine

Your darkest past allures me, I want to know your life

But I’ll never be your lover, let alone your wife

There will be others soon, I can only hope

But until then your beauty makes it hard to cope

Someday in Jerusalem, we’ll meet again, my love

Reunited before our God in the Third Temple above.

 

 

 

Foolish Lurg

Foolish Lurg, realize she isn’t coming back

She won’t return your phone calls

She won’t reenter your life

You have to start anew, find another

But get to know thyself first

There’s a great world out there

It’s much greater than her

And much greater than you.

 

 

 

Junipero Serra

He spent six decades a slaver

We watched in horror as he turned many an ancient California empire into a whitewashed baptismal

Even his own state’s citizens don’t want him

And yet the Pope does

He committed his inhumane crimes in the name of agriculture, architecture, and engineering

All of which could have thrived without his horrid slave labor.

 

 

 

People Think I’m Crazy

People think I’m crazy

But I’m too lazy to shave

Or learn to drive or to cook

Or even to play the guitar

Much less have the gall

To learn to aim a gun

Or even to buy one

And its ammunition

I spend my days watching cartoons

And listening to rock music

And reading the occasional comic book

In my own private company

When I go out, it’s for exercise

Or to grab a bite to eat

I want no part of your misery

I’m in my own world

And you’re in yours.

 

You Don’t Have the Right to Be Depressed

You don’t have the right to be depressed because you are not starving or African or black

You aren’t really white either but you are Jewish which is close enough to majority status and your race slaughters those poor Palestinians which makes you even worse than just being white so shame on you for being depressed

You don’t have the right to be depressed because you don’t have cancer or AIDS or any other terminal illness

You have autism but plenty of people have grown out of autism and gone on to lead successful lives so shame on you for being autistic and not being successful which spreads the stereotype that all autistic people are unsuccessful and shame on you for being depressed

You don’t have the right to be depressed because depression doesn’t exist and it’s just your way of trying to get attention and amuse yourself so fuck you and shame on you for being depressed.

 

 

 

 

At the Library

At the library, I make dreams come alive for children, teens, and adults alike every day

By searching through books and giving readers the ones they think they deserve and enjoy

I find purpose in the poetry, profession in the prose, a following in the fiction

Reciprocating said purpose with others is a life experience for all

It has only been one month since I started working at the library again

But I already feel like a bona fide library scientist.

 

Get a Life

Get a life, even if it’s a meaningless life

Filled with inane blog ramblings of digital chicken scratch

Get a life, in the present, not the future, not the past

To occupy time and space and stuff

Get a life, not death, you beautiful winner.

 

 

 

Wasted Time

I will never gain back the years I wasted feeling sorry for myself

And I will never gain back the years I wasted waiting for things to get better

I will never gain back the years I wasted waiting for her to call me back

And I will never gain back the years I wasted making art which is now lost forever

I will never gain back the years I wasted trying to socialize but not fitting in

And I will never gain back the years I wasted trying and failing to repent for my sins

I will never gain back the years I wasted thinking I was a god

And I will never gain back the years I wasted thinking I was the devil

I will never gain back the years I wasted mocking the already mocked

And I will never gain back the years I wasted mocking the not mocked enough

I will never gain back the years I wasted humming that tune in my head

And I will never gain back the years I wasted trying to remember what it was

I will never gain back the years I wasted looking for answers to questions never asked

And I will never gain back the years I wasted solving mysteries which never occurred

I will never gain back the years I wasted writing jokes nobody understood

And I will never gain back the years I wasted searching for lost jokes I believed were good.

 

 

I’m With You in Berkeley

I’m with you in Berkeley where our four corners form a perfect square

I’m with you in Berkeley where you can run five miles and it seems like five minutes

I’m with you in Berkeley where our friendship lingers long after the last summer ends

I’m with you in Berkeley where our souls go and never return

I’m with you in Berkeley where camp is life and the rest is just details.

 

 

Homer and Marge

My misdeeds are millions

But she forgives every one

She sees through my crassness

And knows my heart is pure

They say we need therapy

But we’ve made it so long

26 years and counting

They’ll never stop our love.

 

 

Netanyahu

Through all your dogma, you shoo away those who need your help most

Be it your detested West Side rival Barry, with the charismatic twinkle in his eye

Or the young Jews who you claim to stand for while ignoring their opinions

Can you really consider yourself leader when you divide the world so?

There are people in your country that you refuse to see as yours

And until you do, things will never be resolved like you want them to

Please, Mr. Netanyahu, listen to your critics as well as your supporters

It’s never too late to blossom into the spokesperson of your people.

 

 

Jennifer Wears a Leather Coat

Jennifer wears a leather coat which she received from her abusive ex-boyfriend

She turned to me for guidance on solving her troubles and I did quite well, I admit

But when the couple came to part, she turned away from me and I stood alone in the cold new mist

Praying to God for a leather coat of my own.

 

 

Sam Simon and His Amazing Cartoon Show

I may go out tomorrow if I can borrow a feeling to wear

Oh, he’d step out In style with his satirist’s wit and his cartoon show

Cromulent, embiggening, sacrilicious, shinning

Oh, who would think a cartoon show

Could be well accepted by folks we know

It’s just amazing how fair people can be

 

The big attraction everywhere

Has been Sam Simon and his amazing cartoon show

It’s Sam Simon and his amazing cartoon show.

 

 

Basement Xanadu

Sometime during existence, we find ourselves seeking splendid isolation in the midst of our own basement Xanadus

Gazing upward toward God, Heaven, a  spider, and a roach

An overland where your folks don’t haggle over your rent

Where your degree in useless gives you more than cheap retail and food service thrills

No more of these decades of sulking in General Jamin’s Soup Court, begging a hag in a hairnet named Coral for seconds on the sloppy joes, eating hell but pretending everything is Heaven

 

 

 

Stoic Arc

Nearly lost you in a fit of alleged disappointment

Are you waiting for me to get back to you?

Tomorrow you may ring and I may answer

As all my thoughts burrow in my head

Lying on the floor, I think of your warmth

Is life livable without you? I think so but

Every day I dream up conversations for you

Better move on then, for I’m only 24

Every day I waste will never reoccur

Life is precious, there will be others here

To be fair, you may not have been as accepted

Older generations are so blind to your kindness

Not like you and me, we know this world too well.

 

 

Son of Stoic Arc

This week I dreamed of a girl to the north

One who disappeared too soon

Now there's a void in my town

And I'm stuck asking myself the saddest questions

Long after it's considered normal or healthy to be doing so

Long after it had been a sensible time to write a poem like this

And her name and adjectives describing her echo through my mind night and day

 

Remind me why I stayed in that doomed store well over 2 years after she left

Eventually I came to accept I had wasted my life

Now the opportunity has arisen to make some changes instead

Though she'll never acknowledge me again at this point in time

Especially because she has so many better things on her horizon

Real life outside of my fantasies of her could be a pleasant place

If I take my aims seriously and don't continue to spend time pining for her

As if I even had a chance with her in the first place.

 

Genuine Article

I love the way you listen

And how you don't get upset when I vent

Because you know I'm not using you as a vehicle

Or worse yet, lashing out at you

We can just talk and it feels authentic

Unlike all the fake shit I deal with otherwise

You're the genuine article, don't change

We all should be so lucky to have you.

 

Shy

She is a shy girl and for her I am outgoing

She is a frail girl and for her I demonstrate strength

Her incredible potential seems to elude her and for that I weep

Because I know she can be so much more in due time

Until then I will continue to collect carts she cannot carry

Instead of watching her fragile spirit crumble with effort

My pale dark-haired angel with innocent eyes

Fresh from the land of garlic, she seeks only me.

 

Thinking About You

Thinking about you when there's nothing left to think about

We were one once ago but it seems like so long now

Please take me back to your Ivory Coast, it was so warm there

Times are tough but that doesn't mean we should have to stay apart

Life was not like it was now then and I hope you realize that

So think about returning and I'll think about seeing you

My little love blossom, time will bring you back to me

A little worse for the wear but 15 years will do that to a delicate flower.

 

Sunflower

Your black hair like jets in the sunny sky

Sunkissed skin and ocean blue eyes

You are everything to me

Your Black Mustang is home

Even though I usually hate Fords

And we will drink wine and stare

At waves in the sunburnt sea.

 

Dani

Dani is a bright beacon of joy in my darkest days

She gets me where others don't and I'm proud to call her my friend

The shittiest environment became pleasant in her company

And I hope she realizes how incredible she is to myself and others.

 

I Don’t Write Anymore

People often ask me or others if I’m still writing

And the truth is that the answer is usually no

Because I almost always have no inspiration anymore

Maybe if they stop asking me if I’m still writing

Then I will start writing again

But until then, I am not going to be writing much

I’ll be working, relaxing, walking around, watching cartoons

Reading books and listening to music but not writing

If I wanted to write, then I’d write.

 

I used to be a powerhouse of ideas and sentences

But lately the same few thoughts just take control

It’s like the same part of my brain that used to entertain

Now produces the same mindless drivel every day

Some people still like to write, and I wish them well

As long as they don’t ask me why I never hold the pen

Except for a silly doodle now and then, I’m no longer a creative dude

No, I no longer write anymore – do you?

 

 

Brain Fog

I wish I could uncloud all this brain fog

Which keeps me from thinking straight

I used to be so bright but now am so slow

And it makes them all laugh at me

So I feel blessed to be staying indoors

Away from their scornful stares

I just cloud myself in the brain fog

And relax in not thinking at all.

 

Apathetic

Apathetic to most things, what is there to take in?

It's a shame that interests are few and far between

This was an excellent world and there was much to do

But the brick walls in the mind were simply not willing

He could have cooked, he could have painted

He could have been some kind of scientist

But it simply didn't enthrall him, it seems

And he wasted his life as a result.

 

Even the Slightest

Even the slightest changes in lifestyle can be all but detrimental to one's well-being

For instances, I never thought I'd return to drinking Earl Grey or English Breakfast

Or that I'd delve any deeper into the oceans of Phish

Or read any more Henry Miller or even fucking finish The Madness of King George

But then again I'm much more of a labyrinth than I previously thought

And the intrusive thoughts have only served as a retardation from self-knowledge

For only when I truly know myself can I know how to know others in the way I expressed

Envy over others knowing them when they did not truly know them, did they?

 

Flashbacks

These flashbacks in my head are really getting to me

Tired of remembering things to regret from decades ago

None of them remember any of this now anyway

But the same words keep flowing through my mind over and over

And it's crazy how they just won't stop no matter how I try

They laughed at me when I said I wished for peace of mind

Little did they know how much I wish I could be like the Dalai Lama

And stop letting them hurt me over and over and over and over again.

 

Some Other COVID Poem

Bored of being at home, bored of being at work

At least I'm enjoying my brief time six feet away from her

Knowing of course that when COVID ends she'll be gone

She'll be up in her own big world, apart from your tiny one

Try to get better in the meantime, whatever that means

Your life means something, at least I think it does

I don't know if I even really like her that much

I just like having something to care about right now.

 

Grandma

I could have been nicer to her

I didn't have to push her and lose my temper at her

Taking advantage of her I also regret

I wish I had treated her better

I could have been a much more loving grandson

By the end though, she forgot it all

Forgot what an asshole I was

And we simply loved each other with our simple minds.

 

Happiness

Happiness took me by surprise the other day

There was a lot I had missed out on in life

I had so few dreams that I was amazed

And thought about what I had to do

We all think things are not what they seem

And that something can be nothing, my friend

But the world is calling to me from afar

And I'm afraid I must take the call, or else!

 

Hard Time

Why do you think you have such a hard time letting go of this one event?
Because I don't give up easily, I keep my mind strong and am determined

To be the best man, the better man, no matter what the obstacle

There will never be a time that I can't accomplish what they say I can't

I love who I am and hope someday you can too, otherwise oh well

Life is great for me and I wish the same to you too, please realize that

And if you can't, who the fuck are you to judge me and my life?

 

I Am Waiting In Vain

I am waiting in vain for G-d to reward me for my persistence like Job

And I am waiting in vain for another season of Beavis and Butt-head

And I am waiting in vain for the women who obviously rejected me to text me back

And I am waiting in vain for my generation to lose its simian values

And I am waiting in vain for a line than can sensically contain the phrase "Plutonian values"

And I am waiting in vain for ideas in my dreams to become sensical enough to please reality

And I am waiting in vain for new hobbies to occupy my time

And I am waiting in vain for Redditors to stop being dicks

And I am waiting in vain for everyone around me to stop making out on New Year's Eve

And I am waiting in vain for my writer's block to end so I can come up with something more creative than this Ferlinghetti rip-off.

 

I Miss Your Abuse

You were a tempest of intricate insult-crystals, every put-down poised in harmonious hate

Wounds which gradually healed once I felt numb, but not as numb as I feel without you here

Even the inanest of ignoramuses failed to hide his fear and awe to you, and I am no exception

I chuckled at every mention of a man tit, guffawed at a Ginsberg reference, haw-hawed at some horrible mockery of my autism

And it's probably no coincidence I lost 60 pounds within years of your fat shaming, autopilot as it was

It was all in a day's work for you but those days are numbered and I instead find myself feeling the aforementioned numbness when well-wishers express sympathy and compliments

None of which feel real compared to your Real Tough Love

And yeah, there'll always be someone around to tell me you were probably insecure and needed to bully others to feel better but fuck it, I needed you and the rest of these imbeciles need you back too.

 

I Started Writing Again

I started writing again

When the disease shut down all other means of time usage

When I found myself in need of communication after years of mental neglect

When I found my simple success and sudden loves fleeting

When it turned out I was taking the wrong things for granted

When the times just became so fucking weird and possibly bad

And the future was so fucking uncertain while I sat alone

I started writing again regardless of what difference it makes.

 

I Stopped Writing Entirely

I stopped writing entirely

When I realized I wasn't saying anything new or profound

While my peers were innovating in ways I never dreamed of

And I stopped writing entirely

When I decided I just wanted to take things in and not comment on everything

Attending trivia nights in order to learn and not to brag

And I stopped writing entirely

When the thoughts in my head became irrelevant to anything worth writing about

After years of open WordPad docs left blank

I stopped writing entirely.

 

Isolation

It's great to be alone with no work for weeks

No customers to feel the need to impress

Spending days without seeing a single face

And doing whatever the hell you want

Or nothing at all for a change

I'm enjoying the boredom for once

It's nice to have time to myself

Never going outside to feel judged

They ask me about the future and I say fuck off

It's great to be alone once again.

 

It’s Nice

It's nice whenever my intrusive thoughts give out

The poems I can write aren't necessarily well-written or creative

But they're a nice break from the same five thoughts ad nauseum

And they give me something to do besides watch YouTube videos of silly cartoon shows

Sometimes thinking can be fun

Even if some argue I think slower than they do

Just because I talk slower than they do

I don't care what they think

I just care what I think

And it's always nice to be able to think my own thoughts for a change

And write my poems for a change

Instead of writing someone else's.

 

Nice Day

It's a nice day to not be outside

Dealing with ungrateful bastards who don't care

Just drinking and watching movies and talking to people

So I love what I'm doing right now

It's all good on the inside where I can just be me

And not care what the other fuckers think

I love my life and if you don't, fuck you

My life is too important to go to waste.

 

Stop Telling Me to Write

Stop telling me to write when I don't want to write

Stop telling me to draw when I don't want to draw

If I wanted to write, I would write

But I don't so fuck off for God's sake

I can do nothing on my days off if I want to

I don't tell you how to live your life

I just keep to myself and don't bother anyone

If I wanted to write, I would write.

 

The Girls

The girls who I'm going to meet when this is all over

Are all kind and have helped me through these difficult times

And I commend them all for their sweetness

I love them so much and I hope they realize it

There's going to be a rough time ahead of us

But we have to face it with determination

This is unlike anything we have ever faced before

And I thank them for making it easier for me.

 

The Static Man

Sometimes it feels like everyone's changed but me

My parents are now divorced

My sister is now my brother

My grandma now has Alzheimer's

And I watch the same old cartoons

Listen to the same old songs

And find the same stupid things to be funny

I like being the Static Man though

At least I'm not the Stagnant Man.

 

Toxic

You were a good friend but you were toxic as hell

I enjoyed your company but hated it as well

We both treated each other like fucking shit

Though we lied to ourselves it was all in good fun

All those nights of you teaching me new tricks

And me teaching you new flicks

I kind of miss but it's best we moved on

There is other life besides this one.

 

Why Do They Matter

Why do they matter or have any influence on my day to day life

They do nothing for me and I've frankly done nothing for them

Why should I seek their forgiveness when it shouldn't make me stronger

Just keep on living one day at a time and cherishing every moment of it

Things will get better but things already are quite good

So time to realize how well things are going.

 

Traffic Lights

Paralyzed when the traffic light turns green

For a few seconds too many

Staring at all the staring drivers

While making the walk of shame

Judged for thinking too slow

By others who think too slow

When I'm just trying to cross the fucking street

And get some fucking beer!